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Matt Nichols is 21 years old. He was born in Ambatondrazaka Madagascar. (yes that is a real city...look it up if you think I'm lying to you) Not much is know about his biological parents. He ran away from home at the age of 3 to Chigube Mozambique. There he was raised by a family of Tutsi tribe members. Once educated on the art of hunting with spears and canniblism, Matt traveled eastward to Vishakhapatnam India. (yes, again a real city) His raging canniblistic acts ended up getting him deported to the island of Alamaga in the Mariana Islands. By this time he was exactly 3 years and 2 weeks old. Not much is known of his life at this point. In fact the only thing on record at this point in his life is his train ticket from his train ride from Alamaga Island to Hawaii. This ticket can be viewed in the Smithsonian Instituion in the "Genius Innovators of Our History" sector. After spending some time in Maui, Matt felt that it was time to spend some time in a colder climate and study the culture of people in the snowy north. So with that in mind Matt drove from pleasant heat of Maui to the harsh winter of the Upper Yukon. While there, Matt studied and lived with the eskimos. He climbed several towering mountains and as Matt put it: "....fought off a 15 foot high wooly mammoth!" This quote from Matt is under specualtion due to the fact that it was made during Matt's little known "Acid Phase". Matt's trip to the Yukon ended on his 5th birthday when he successfuly climbed Mt. Logan, a 19,500 ft mountain. While at the age of 5, Matt traveled southward to California. While there he met another 5 year old by the name of Kyle. Kyle was also starting an expedition of his own from New Mexico. Who knew that the two would someday again meet up creating one of the most powerful forces that the world would ever see. After a brief stay in California, Matt traveled south, below the equator to Resistencia Argentia. But it was on his way to Argentia that he past Columbia and met a cute 11 year old Columbian girl named Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll. It was Matt who advised the girl to go into singing and perhaps consider a career in belly dancing. Today, "Shakira" is a huge sensation in the world. This is all due to the 5 year old child prodigy Matt Nichols. After a 2 year stay in Argentia, Matt traveled to the snowy south. Thats right folks: Antarctica. Matt Nichols was for a period of time the only indigenous inhabitant of Antarctica. Matt lived on a sheet of ice for 6 solid months eating nothing but penguin (and yes it does taste like chicken).
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